Grant Holderfield was back in a safe haven of sorts.
The setting was different. It was late September, and Indiana’s fall outing against Indiana State had no record-bearing impact on the season that will soon follow — a season that starts this Friday in Conway, South Carolina.
But the feeling wasn’t. For the first time in over a year, the southpaw had assumed his spot back on top of the mound. Recovering from an injury that sidelined the freshman star for his sophomore season, Holderfield had his first true emblematic sign that he was back.
A walk to the first batter. Maybe nerves, maybe jitters. But he soon settled, completing his one and only inning of work that evening rather harmlessly. And yet, for someone whose spot on a roster is secured in his third fall ball, harmless innings can hardly ever carry such weight.
“He was one of the guys I singled out, I was just really happy for him,” head coach Jeff Mercer said that evening.
It was the Hoosiers’ first time back on a ball diamond together, in uniform, against an opponent, since the gut-wrenching loss suffered in June to No. 12 Kentucky. Indiana was a game away from a trip to an NCAA Super Regional, but fell in Lexington to the Regional host. The Hoosiers’ pitching depth by the end of the weekend was stretched thin — producers like Holderfield’s absence were known, and the sudden spring of Luke Sinnard’s season-ending injury forced Indiana to scramble all weekend.
Whether or not Indiana’s season would’ve continued if afforded a healthy Holderfield — a Swiss Army knife available, and utilized, in multiple roles — is closure it will never earn. Any further worry about a since-finished season would be detrimental to the onset of the next one, but another capable arm in the Hoosiers’ back pocket would’ve been a valued tool in handling IU’s fourth game in four days.
This season Holderfield is back healthy, and Indiana hopes it won’t have to wonder what would’ve been if encountering a situation where the pitching depth is called into question.
That’s why such a meaningless inning on the surface was packed with both pride and potential for Indiana’s 2024 campaign.
“It’s a big boost for us, he really helps,” Mercer said. “He’s got moxie. He can hold the run game. He can get off the mound and field his position.
“On a personal level, you’ve just really happy for him. I’m — we’re really excited to have him back out there.”
The pain came from essentially nowhere.
Holderfield, who appeared in 25 games his freshman season and threw 41.1 innings in the process, had hit the ceiling of a capped workload. A quick glance at his final five lines indicate fatigue may have set in toward the conclusion of the rookie’s campaign. In those games, Holderfield allowed 17 of the 50 total hits he surrendered all season, 20 of the 44 total runs (14 earned), five of the nine home runs and added just five strikeouts to his year-end tally of 52. By all accounts, the 6-foot-3 Illinois native wasn’t himself.
Indiana shut him down from throwing for the summer, and he returned home. Eager to build off the foundation the majority of his first season laid, Holderfield went back to Bloomington early to begin workouts and his throwing routine.
“That’s where I started feeling those sensations,” Holderfield told The Hoosier Network. “It was super, super random. It just flared up out of nowhere. It could have potentially been there and my arm was just built up to the point where I wasn’t feeling anything, but I had no issues before the summer.”
Dealing with impingement from an inflamed bursa and a bone spur in his left throwing shoulder, Holderfield felt a stabbing of pain with every throw. The throwing buildup stopped once again, hoping to avoid the worst. Upon resumption of the program, however, the pain “wasn’t any better,” Holderfield said. “Probably worse.”
Reluctantly, he opted for a surgery that would be an overall shoulder cleanup. The potential for a mid-season return was originally on the table, but lingering issues and setbacks meant going under the knife put an end to his sophomore season before it began.
“I really wanted to have a huge role my sophomore year,” Holderfield said. “I wanted to make an impact on the field for those guys, and especially we had such a good roster, a bunch of returning guys, and we made a huge run last year. It did suck.
“It was quite devastating not being able to be there.”
Holderfield’s bubbly personality makes him viable to walk into a room and already know everyone in it. And if he didn’t know someone, the conversation he could strike up with them could lead you to believe he did. His lively personality comes out in every public setting, and there’s a confidence to his tone, his stature, that has a gravitational pull to it.
In his year away from the diamond, he’d often hold court in the Hoosier dugout. Holderfield felt there was an inherent need for positive impact that he could still supply while unable to physically participate throughout the season. He’d earned the trust of his teammates who were there for him in his battles to return and maintained a weighted voice in the team. That reception — “It’s an amazing feeling” — helped guide Indiana to one of its best seasons in recent history, even without him taking the rubber once.
“Nowadays it’s almost referred to as a glue guy,” Holderfield said. “I think I could attribute myself to being a glue guy in a sense, whether it be in the locker room and then also just on the field, in the dugout, just being there for people.”
But Mercer labels his do-it-all left-hander as one of his team’s greatest competitors, able to rise to an occasion and shine brightest when something is at stake.
“Not everyone is like that and wired that way,” Mercer said, “but (Holderfield) is.”
Descending back upon Bloomington after the heartbreak that ensued in Lexington, Holderfield’s work was far from over. Setbacks delayed his desired returns to the diamond once and twice before. But this path looked clear, free of pain in that crucially important left arm. As Indiana’s group said its goodbyes and members went on their own ways, knowing that would be the final time that exact group was together in Cream and Crimson, Holderfield instead got comfortable.
A Bloomington summer on one of America’s most beautiful campuses generally comes in the form of peaceful days, the usual densely populated streets sitting silently as the bustles of some 45,000 students reduces to far fewer. It’s a tranquility that the town can’t offer from mid-August to mid-May. One wouldn’t be remiss to stop and breathe it in for a minute.
But this would not be a period of leisure. There was light at the end of a long dark tunnel, and Holderfield understood what it would take to get there.
“You can see those kinds of guys, the closer they get to the finish line, the faster they grow,” Mercer said. “It’s like they can see it’s within sight, and you can see that with Grant this fall when he started getting close to being back, he got a lot better a lot quicker. He could sense it. He could feel it. He could smell it. He didn’t drag it out.
“And once he got it, he really, really took off.”
A deliberate process skipped no steps, but had some added. His goalposts repeatedly moved further back, with lingering issues and progress at a premium. But resilience reigned true for Indiana’s redshirt-sophomore left-hander. You were only going to keep the gladiator away for so long.
“Grant wants to be in the arena,” Mercer said. “He wants to be in the fight.”
The arena? Bart Kaufman Field on a warm and picturesque September day, the evening sun not yet set below the west bleachers. Four hundred and ninety-two days had passed since Holderfield last toed the slab in an IU uniform, bearing the No. 18 on his back.
There would not be a 493rd.
From the left field bullpen trotted Holderfield, entering Indiana’s fall scrimmage against the Indiana State Sycamores in the top of the third inning. There wouldn’t be a statistical value to be gleaned from his upcoming pitches he’d throw. In a very vague, white-and-black sense, what happened next could hold very little importance on the start of the real season months later.
Try telling that to an admittedly jittery Holderfield.
“I wasn’t nervous, but I was very excited,” he said.
Holderfield fell behind his first batter 3-0. Perhaps too excited, he took a deep breath before firing his next pitch, a strike. He’d walk the same batter on a close miss right after, but at that moment, he was settled. A strikeout, a defended come-backer and a pop out ended his one frame of work.
“I was super excited for the moment, being back on the mound, throwing to one of my best friends, Brock (Tibbits), who’s new behind the plate, was awesome too, and just having all my guys behind me,” Holderfield said. “My parents were in the stands, which was an awesome feeling. It was just great to be back.”
The vindication of his work to come back had finally arrived. He’d cleared every physical hurdle in his way, and now had the on-field performance required for mental closure.
Holderfield was back.
“Definitely a milestone,” Holderfield continued. “It was like, OK, it’s good to go. Let’s let it rip. Let’s compete and let’s just be who I am, which is a pitcher and a natural competitor.”
Utilizing his self-proclaimed “funky” release and arm angle, his high-80s to low-90s fastball is met with Frisbee-like movement on his offspeed. The run and movement on release varies from a standard over-top arm action. As the season approaches, he figures to play a pivotal role in Indiana’s bullpen Rolodex — whatever that role may entail.
Some would call it pressure, but Holderfield welcomes it with open, healthy arms.
“I’m super fired up,” Holderfield said. “I’ve been itching at it for a year now, ever since freshman year. Ready to roll, feeling great, and I can’t wait to be back out there.”
